Many of us closely watch the accounts of a number of Palestinian journalists on the ground—to receive updates on the war, and to make sure they are simply still alive. For those journalists, it has been 66 days of documenting the horrors of war against their people, the targeting and death of their colleagues, the destruction of their homes — all while trying to survive themselves. 

As of December 11, the Committee to Protect Journalists has documented the death of 56 Palestinian journalists. Israel is turning Gaza into what International Media Support calls a “news grave” because as more journalists lose their lives, access to information or news from Gaza will simply disappear with them. But what has it been like for those journalists still doing their jobs during one of the deadliest wars in modern history. 

Today’s episode of Podcast Palestine: The War on Gaza is with Nour Swirki, one of the few last standing journalists on the ground in Gaza. This interview was recorded using WhatsApp voice notes on December 12, 2023.

Nadeen Shaker: Nour, can you describe to us the dangers of reporting in Gaza as a journalist now? How are you able to continue reporting when there’s practically no safe place to be?

Nour Swirki: So the Gaza Strip is not safe at all because of this war, because of the shelling, bombing, and air strikes, and targeting the people, the civilians. Some journalists, our colleagues, were targeted and killed by Israeli airstrikes. So reporting in Gaza as a journalist is not an easy job at all. We have these concerns of safety. We have these concerns of the lasting and continuous communication with the world, with the internet, with the phones, with some needs like the power and we need to charge our phones, laptops, our equipment. So it’s not easy at all. We have this shortage of fuel, [we need] to have alternative solutions because the power is off. We have the danger of being in the field and being in a place was hit with no warning at all as it’s happening here. So being a journalist in Gaza in this war, okay, you are one of the titans who is working in the field. So we are doing that because we are obligated as people who choose to be journalists and to report about the truth and the miserable civilians who are living here in Gaza because of this war.

Nadeen Shaker: What does your work day look like?

Nour Swirki: So the day for me as a mother and a journalist looks like I have two identities. One is a mother and I have to take care of my children, and the second is a journalist [who] has to do her work and her job so I do both roles. I believe I’m doing my best; I wake up in a shelter now because I have been displaced for the second time. Currently I’m based in Rafah and I have my children with me and I moved also to work from Rafah because I can’t move to other governorates because it’s dangerous and I have 4G services here in Rafah. So still, despite this flexibility, still the situation is very dangerous and my day looks like I’m fighting to live and I’m fighting to do my job.

Nadeen Shaker: You wrote on December 6th that you were displaced for a second time, and that if anyone looked at the faces of refugees who lost their security, lives, homes and families, they’d see the anger of the world and disappointment pouring from their eyes. Can you tell us your story of displacement? And what were the thoughts going through your head after being displaced again and seeing the world fail you?

Nour Swirki: I’ve been displaced for the second time now. On the 1st of December, I evacuated to Rafah after I spent at least 40 days in Khan Yunis and I’m from Gaza city, so I’ve been displaced a second time with my family and my children. Every time I was moving with my children, I have this fear of losing them. I’m seeking safety and I know that we are civilians dealing with an Israeli army who do not respect the international humanitarian law and the principles of conflict. So we may be subjected to any violation, any target, any time, and no one would be held responsible for these massacres or for these violations. So every time I heard about the evacuation, we received this leaflet from the Israeli army, I moved to another area seeking safety and to save my children as one of my main reasons for this evacuation. The world failed to save our rights, failed to save our dignity, failed to support us, failed to stop this war against us as civilians because most, the majority of the fatalities and injured people are civilians from children and women. We lost our homes, we lost our souls, we lost our money, we lost our beloved ones, and we lost every memory, good memory, with this city. So, it’s not a war against one party,  it’s a war against anything Palestinian…against our existence.

Nadeen Shaker: So you mentioned you were displaced to Rafah, that’s right on the border with Egypt. And I read that in a post you wrote that you’ve always wanted to live next to the sea, but that the sound of the crashing waves of night mixed with the bombing is terrifying. What does Rafah look and sound like?

Nour Swirki: In Rafah, I moved to a place in the western area of Rafah and there is no facilitation at all. We are close to the sea. There is no electricity, no water, no communication with the internet and even we lost the connection with the mobile networks. This time was very hard for me because we moved not for buildings, not for places which is [inhabited by] people. We moved to areas, open areas and people are living in tents of plastic and they build it from wood and plastic bags and some of them, not all of them, some of them are sleeping on the street with their children and family members. We are cooking on burned wood and we are looking for water and we know it’s unsafe water and undrinkable but we drink it because we don’t have any other choice. It’s a completely dehumanizing situation. We are, we not only lose our lives, we lose our dignity and this is a big issue. We lose our dignity. It’s not about this only, it’s about the dignity. We here as civilians, we lost our dignity in this war. Yes, because we are displaced. Even for the, let’s talk about the toilets. We don’t find toilets to go [to] and to have some showers. So, yeah, I believe in this war we lost our dignity and yes I’m completely shocked now while I’m saying that.

Nadeen Shaker: What is the next step for you and your family you think?

Nour Swirki: Well for the next step nobody knows because we don’t have plans. We are under fire. We are just waiting for our destiny to die or not to die. To wake up in the next morning saying thank God we are still alive or to die in the same day or on that night. So we don’t have any choices. We don’t have any next step. All what we need is seeking to be safe and alive and hopefully we don’t have to or we will not be forced to move for another country. No, we don’t want that. We don’t. We want to stay in our homes, in our lands, and that’s it. If it’s destroyed, okay, we will rebuild this city again, and that’s it. We’ll fight for our life here in the Gaza Strip, not in another place. And hopefully, hopefully we are not to be forced to move for another area.

Nadeen Shaker: So we’ve been seeing posts from beloved journalists that we follow in Gaza. And we’re seeing how despairing they are, you know, they keep mentioning experiencing from reporting and this trauma. They’re posting messages of despair and frustration. You also posted that you don’t have the ability or energy to even communicate with people or to let them know that you’re okay and to give details of your situation. Can you tell us a little bit about how reporting on such a horrific war for more than two months now is affecting you?

Nour Swirki: Well, this is one of the most horrific wars and escalations. I live in the Gaza Strip, I witnessed all the previous ones, but this one is completely different. Me as a journalist, yes, I’m traumatized. I meet people every single moment and they keep telling their stories and I’m asking for their stories to report about it. The stories and the witnessing of these crimes, we see the killed people, the injuries, the bodies of the killed people, me myself I saw some bodies of the children who have been killed in one of the airstrikes in Khan Yunis, and I was thinking for a moment, what if they were my children while I am out of the home, of the shelter, what if something happened there and I lost them? What if I was in the hospital and I received them as dead children? So, this is the situation. It doesn’t sound good at all to think about that, it’s a kind of madness to have this situation in your life and yes me myself I’m traumatized and I know that after this war I need for some psychological support and some interventions related to my situation.

Nadeen Shaker: What coping mechanisms are you using to simply survive and go on? What motivates you to continue?

Nour Swirki: The mechanisms are that we are working. We don’t think about anything else, only work and work and work because if we will think about anything happening here we will lost our minds. We have beloved ones we lost them, we lost our beloved things also. So me and my friends and colleagues who are working in this field of journalism, we said that we have to continue working and not thinking about what is happening there. We have to report and not to think about the details of our personal lives and our personal loss, just to be able to continue. And when this war comes to an end, we will have the time to cry. This is what we do. We support each other and we talk about this sense, that we don’t have to think.

Nadeen Shaker: As a journalist using social media and I know other means to bring us unfiltered reporting of the situation in Gaza. As a journalist using social media and I know other means to bring us unfiltered reporting of the situation in Gaza. You offer a brand and style of reporting that is totally different from what mainstream and Western media has been showing us; it’s drawn, it’s very impactful for us that the impact of that reporting is seen and it’s felt, how do you feel? Do you think it has contributed to changing the narrative on Palestine abroad?

Nour Swirki: Maybe, not sure. But I believe with all of these efforts from the journalists and the activists on social media platforms, I believe we made something positive, but not sure if it’s contributed to the narrative changing itself or not, because I believe we have a blind part, who is believing into Israeli narratives. And still, they say that some of the news that we are reporting is a kind of lying, and it’s false. So still, the people of the world need more effort, but we do our best. And we believe in our selves, that we are doing that with high professionalism. And yes, some some time or someday they will know that this is the truth.

Nadeen Shaker: What would you tell those who are maybe like myself not in Gaza and want to help bring an end to the war, but don’t know how or feel like their voices don’t matter? What would you tell those people?

Nour Swirki: I believe anyone who wants to support, he or she has to believe that their voices matter. They matter with us as Palestinians, matter with us as civilians, and matter with us journalists who need the support of the voices from the outside of the Gaza Strip. So they have to continue what they are doing. They do it with high principles. Yes, we need you. We are in [your debt] and grateful for you. Do it and continue what you are doing because we this matters for us as Palestinians. Yeah, it matters.

Nadeen Shaker: Thank you for listening to Podcast Palestine: The War on Gaza and to my guests, Nour Swirki. This episode was produced by myself, and by the Cairo Review’s deputy senior editor Omar Auf. Let us know what you thought of this episode and share your feedback with us on social media. You can find a full transcript of the interview on our website. Follow us wherever you get your podcasts. Salam.